Proximity, Similarity, and Balance in Friendships

I met one of my closest friends during my first week of high school.  She sat next to me on the first day of our World History class.  Over the first couples of classes, we made polite small talk.  Upon news of our first quiz, we talked more about what the other was studying and agreed to study together.  Eventually, we discussed more in-depth topics and found that we shared many things in common, including similar personalities, senses of humor, and tastes in music and TV shows.

            The beginning of our friendship can be explained by multiple social psych concepts.  First, we were drawn together by the proximity effect.  The proximity effect is the tendency for individuals to be attracted to those who are close to them (Festinger, 1950).  In other words, we were just lucky enough to be in the same city, at the same high school, and in the same World History class to meet and sit next to each other.

            Following the proximity effect was the need for affiliation, which is our psychological need, as humans, to interact with and maintain relationships with others (McAdams, 1989).  As young freshmen in a new high school, we were highly motivated to seek out friendships.  Furthermore, the stress of our first quiz pushed us to interact with each other more.  In fact, humans have a tendency to seek affiliation under times of stress, in order to cope more effectively (Schacter, 1959).  So, our first quiz was a blessing in disguise because it helped us to spend time together, outside of class, studying and talking. 

            Lastly, once we found that we had many things in common, we were influenced by the similarity effect, which is the tendency for people to be attracted to others who are similar to themselves (Montoya, Horton, & Kirchner, 2008).  Because we had many things in common, our friendship was balanced.  In other words, our friendship was swayed by Balance Theory, which is a phenomenon whereby we want our friends to like what we like and dislike what we dislike (Heider, 1958).  Thus, because we had many things in common, we had little to disagree about, maintaining a balance.  (n=362)

References

Festinger, L. (1950).  Informal social communication. Psychological Review, 57, 271-282.

Heider, F. (1958). The psychology of interpersonal relations. New York: Wiley.

McAdams, D. P. (1989). Intimacy: The need to be close.  New York: Doubleday.

Montoya, R. M., Horton,, R. S., & Kirchner, J.. (2008). Is actual similarity necessary for attraction?  A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity.  Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, 889-922

Schacter, S. (1959). The psychology of affiliation: Experimental studies of the sources of gregariousness.  Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.